According to Family Dynamics, there's lots of pros for getting married which include a emotional and physical health, wealth, a longer lifespan for men, and a lower suicide rate. Not only does it positively effect the couple, but children are less likely to become teen parents, are more likely to go to college and be successful, less likely to use drugs or commit violent acts. Although the website fails to quote these statistics with numbers, I've took a brief look at some numbers. To keep things simple, I used data from the last 20 years.
Marriage (Across the USA): In 1990 people married at the rate of 9.8. There were 2,448,000 marriages with almost half ending in divorce. That's 1,175,000 divorces at a rate of 4.7. Seem kind of high? Maybe. If you flash forward to 2000, the rate of marriage decreased a bit to 8.5 but the divorce rate barely moved to 4.2. Since data has yet to be provided by Infoplease.com for 2010, we will look at 2008 where the marriage rate continued to drop to 7.3 with a divorce rate of 3.6. This is still nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce. Hmmm...interesting! Maybe it has something to do with age?
Age: in 1990, women married at a median age of 26yrs while men married at a median age of 23.9. In 2000, women married at roughly 26.8 and men married at 25.1. 2008's data is unavailable but in 2007, the ages were closer: 27.7 for women and 26 for men. Not the data you were expecting to get? Neither was I. I was expecting women to marry younger and men to marry older but it's the other way around. Women may mature faster than men and wait a little longer but just because women were older when they married, didn't do anything to really shrink the divorce rate. Then again, with less marriages in 2007, there were also less divorces.
So whose doing all the divorcing? According to Marriage 101, it's the women! Yup, you read right! You ladies call it quits first with ages 20-24 being the highest to say hiatus at a wopping 36.6%! But wait, the men are doing most of the divorcing at that age at 38.8%. Hmmm... this is the time frame of legal drinking, club and bar hopping, and long nights away from your significant other.
But wait, I don't want to point fingers. So what is the cause of unhappy matrimony? I can speak for my own divorce but what about everyone else? Well Marriage 101 breaks that down for us again with the most common reasons for divorce:
-Lack of Communication (Communication should be #1 in every marriage)
-Financial problems (budgeting money, bills, and living within means is a two way street)
-Lack of Commitment to the Marriage (if you can't be faithful to someone then way even bother getting married in the first place? This is such a no-brainer!)
-Differences in Culture (People are different all over the world and are raised with different beliefs, morals, family values. Consideration and understanding should be tackled before going forward. Just makes sense!)
-Sexual or Emotional abuse (Yeah, get out of this one quick! Especially if the abuser will not change or will not do his/her best to change)
-Lack of Responsibilities (I don't really understand this one. Maybe one is always left at home with the kids?)
If this isn't enough for you to throw in the towel and say "No way" to marriage, just wait, there are solutions to making things work! Websites like Marriage Builders.com have Q&A columns for just about any conflict, how to resolve and communicate issues. If communication isn't the issue then maybe you need to spice things up. If local intimate boutiques aren't your thing then head over to the great big world of the internet!Sex is important in a marriage. You two are more than friends, you're life long partners sharing the same bed, having the same goals, and made the same promises of "Til death do us part." Sexless marriages = unhappy couples. Another great webbie is love-lectures.com
So why did I spend on this time sharing all this info? Because marriage is taken far too lightly. We jump into it and say our meaningless vows only to divorce 1,2,3 years or so later. Why even bother if we can't stay together? Wait, am I being hypercritical? No, because even though I've been married and have divorced I've learned something here. Marriage is a beautiful thing shared between two people. It takes both of them to make it work and keep it alive. While I never wanted to become a divorcee, I had no other choice because my husband didn't want to make things work. It's like riding a bike with only one wheel while the other half drags ass on the concrete=just doesn't work.
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